


Free Fall

by ShadeOfAzmeinya



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Angst, Breakup, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Makeup, Self Sacrificing Ryan, and very annoyed Gavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-03-17 20:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeOfAzmeinya/pseuds/ShadeOfAzmeinya
Summary: There is always something strange of seeing the Golden Boy out of his persona. Out of all the gold he paints on. Something that feels incredibly intimate, no matter how many times Ryan has seen it, no matter how many months they’ve been together. Watching him now, curled in a chair, wearing sweatpants and a hoody, hands wrapped around a warm cup of tea, it’s almost sweet. Makes Ryan want to go over and press kisses to his head and tell him that he loves him.But he doesn't. Because Gavin is mad and it's all his fault.





	1. The Breakup

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on tumblr forever ago but I forgot about posting it here as well. Better late then never I suppose.

There is always something strange of seeing the Golden Boy out of his persona. Out of all the gold he paints on. Something that feels incredibly intimate, no matter how many times Ryan has seen it, no matter how many months they’ve been together. Watching him now, curled in a chair, wearing sweatpants and a hoody, hands wrapped around a warm cup of tea, it’s almost sweet. Makes Ryan want to go over and press kisses to his head and tell him that he loves him.

Because he does, _god_  he loves this boy with everything he has. But that’s the problem. That’s what got them in this situation and that’s why he’s standing across the room, shoulder bandaged up tightly, pained and aching, while Gavin glares into his mug like he’s trying to make it explode. That’s why he’s standing here and Gavin’s sitting there and they aren’t kissing, aren’t holding each other, aren’t even looking at each other.

“Gavin…” Ryan starts gently, taking a small step closer to him.

“Don’t,” Gavin says sharply. “I don’t want to  _fucking_  hear it.”

“Gavin, please, just talk to me –“

“What is there to talk about?” Gavin hisses. “About how you’re an idiot? About how you nearly got yourself killed for  _nothing_? A great conversation there.”

“It wasn’t for nothing,” Ryan defends. “I was protecting  _you_  –“

“Well I never asked for that protection!” Gavin snarls, head whipping around to finally face Ryan. “I never fucking told you to go throwing yourself in front of bullets to protect me. I never fucking said for you to put my life in front of yours!”

“I wasn’t going to let you die!” Ryan shouts, stepping closer. “That bullet would’ve killed you!”

“It almost killed  _you_!” Gavin slams his mug down on the coffee table, tea spilling everywhere. Neither cares in the moment of the stain that’s going to leave, of the tea dripping onto the carpet, of the cup handle slowly cracking. Gavin stands up, hands curled into fists as he glares at Ryan. “You should’ve just let the bullet hit me or you should’ve pulled me out of the way. You should never fucking throw yourself in front of me. You should never,  _ever_  pull that shit –“

“You want me to just fucking let you die?!” Ryan shouts back. “I’m not going to let you get hurt, Gavin. I love you –“

“Don’t say that,” Gavin seethes. “Don’t fucking say that right now. I don’t want to hear that.”

“It’s true, Gavin,” Ryan says, reaching out to him. Gavin pulls back like he was trying to burn him. Ryan winces, hand hanging there, empty, before he lowers it. “I  _do_  love you –“

“Well, you chose the wrong person to love,” Gavin mutters, moving to brush past him.

Again Ryan reaches out, trying to stop him as his face falls and his voice softens. “Gavin, please –“

Again Gavin pulls away before Ryan can touch him. Again it hurts like a bullet. “I’m not going to do this if that’s what you’re going to do. I can’t do this if you’re going to put me in front of you because you think you love me.”

“I don’t ‘think’ I do, I know I do,” Ryan says gently as Gavin just stares at the ground. “Gavin, I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true –“

“You don’t even  _know_  me,” Gavin hisses to the floor. “You don’t know me at all! You love the Golden Boy. And you aren’t allowed to die for him. None of you are.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I know you,” Ryan says, stepping closer.

Gavin just shakes his head and steps away. “No, you don’t,” he simply says and then walks away, moving to the kitchen table to grab his backpack he had thrown there earlier. When he was first dragging Ryan home, half unconscious, wound still dripping blood. Gavin had been the one to dig the bullet out. Gavin had been the one to wrap up the wound, the one to make sure he wasn’t going to die in his arms.  _God, there had been so much blood_. “You wouldn’t love me. But you love the Golden Boy enough to die for him. And I can’t give you that chance to throw your life away for  _nothing_.”

“Gavin, wait,” Ryan says, trying to get him to stay, get him to talk and listen.  Trying to find someway to tell him that none of that was true. That he knew him, that he loves him, that he isn’t  _nothing_. “Please, just talk to me. Don’t just walk away –“

“I’m bloody tired of talking,” Gavin huffs, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. “I’m not doing this anymore, Ryan. It was fun, but I  _can’t_  -”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Ryan says, voice shaking in disbelief.

Gavin stiffens, pausing in his walk towards the door. He stares at the ground a moment, training his features, pulling shutters to his own sadness and turning to Ryan with a firm, emotionless expressions. And expression Ryan had seen him use so many times but never thought he’d use it on  _him_. “I guess I am.”

That’s the part that hurts the most, hearing him say it just so much finality. So little emotion. Ryan steps back likes he’s been shot all over again, face falling in betrayal, in hurt, in pain before it all closes off, fury replacing it. “ _Fine_ ,” he spits. “If this is how you’re going to be, than fine. Fucking leave! Be a fucking coward!”

Gavin flinches, but his mask doesn’t break. Solid and fake and Ryan hates him in that moment more than he’s ever hated anyone. At the worst part is he doesn’t say anything back. The worst is he doesn’t fight it, doesn’t try to defend himself against Ryan’s anger. He just accepts it with a nod and a sigh, turning away from him and heading to the door.

Gavin reaches the threshold out of the apartment, glancing back just a moment before walking through. Just long enough that Ryan dares to hope he’ll come back inside. That he’ll listen again, that they’ll talk, that Gavin will tell him what is going on in his head instead of locking him out so harshly. But that hope is broken as Gavin turns back forward and steps out.

The sound of the door closing shatters his heart and he screams and he picks up the half empty cup of tea, the tea that seemed like softness and home, the smell still painfully Gavin, and he throws it against the wall, shattering it into a thousand pieces. He leaves a dent in the wall but he doesn’t care, cursing Gavin’s name under his breath as his shoulders shake and the tears start to fall.


	2. The Makeup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For an anon's prompt fill, I've added the second half of this story. Hope its alright haha

Gavin is missing for two weeks before Ryan goes searching for him. Two weeks since Gavin stormed out of their apartment, declaring them over, declaring them done, and disappearing into the city. Ryan was too angry at first to go after him. Furious at him just suddenly deciding he was done, just when the going got tough he ran. Like a fucking coward. The first time Ryan gets hurt and he’s gone, not wanting to help take care of him.

The others were worried, when Ryan eventually had to tell them after two days, growing worried at both of their radio silence. He ranted at them about what happen, swore and cursed and raved about what Gavin had done, how he had hurt him. He expected them to be angry too. But they weren’t nearly as aggravated as they should’ve been. At least to Ryan. They tried searching for him, but all of them knew they weren’t going to get anywhere. If Gavin didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be, plain and simple.

A week goes by with nothing until Geoff gets a message from an untraceable number that is Gavin’s voice explaining he’s ok. He doesn’t say where he is. Doesn’t say when he’ll be back. Just to let the others know he’s not fucking dead in a ditch somewhere. Geoff tries to get him to talk to Ryan, but he hangs up instead. Which is good because Ryan didn’t want to fucking talk to him either.

( _He did though, needed to hear his voice, needed to see him again, needed to hold him. What he had done hurt, hurt far more than anything else has ever hurt him and he still didn’t want to lose him, didn’t know what he’d do if he truly lost Gavin forever -_ )

Another week passes before they get another message, again Gavin just letting them know he was ok. But this time it’s an actual phone number, letting them track him at least from the location he called from. Geoff asks if he knows when he’s coming home. Gavin still doesn’t answer. 

Ryan lasts three more days, three more days of nothing from Gavin, of stubborn silence, before Ryan’s storming out of the house in the middle of the day to find him. He’s traced the phone, fury rising. He isn’t going to let Gavin get away from talking this time. He isn’t going to let him just shut him out. He is _going_ to get him talking.

It doesn’t take long to find him; Gavin clearly wants to be found now with how easy he is to track. Ryan finds him in some shitty apartment building, paint peeling off walls, dents and strange smells filling the place. Ryan frowns at it, something stirring in his gut to think of Gavin, his bright golden boy, staying in this dark, horrid place. Alone. Hurting. Ryan tries brushing the feeling aside, he needs to be mad at Gavin. He wants to be mad at him. He _is_ mad at him.

Ryan finds the apartment easily, having looked into who owned what, finding an alias Gavin often used. He tries opening the door, but it’s locked. Least he cared somewhat about his safety. Ryan kneels down, picking the lock. Certainly didn’t care that much about his safety with how quickly Ryan’s able to get it undone and swinging the door open.

The sight inside grips at Ryan’s heart, catching his breath. The apartment was a mess, boxes thrown everywhere, old dishes lying around. Gavin is even worse, hair greasy, dark rings under his eyes, buried in a torn up hoodie. His arm shook as he held out a gun, face hard but Ryan could see the fear lingering in his eyes. Fear that only grew once he recognized who he was facing.

“Ryan,” Gavin says firmly, face hardening, hiding his emotions under his perfected mask. Ryan could still see the cracks within it though. “Why are you here?”

“To talk,” Ryan says, closing the door behind him. “You fucking ran out on me and I intend to at least get an answer why.”

“You better be ready to be bloody disappointed then because I’m not going to talk to you,” Gavin spits. “Get out of my apartment.”

“No,” Ryan hisses back, moving forward, stepping close enough that the gun was nearly resting on his chest. “You’re giving me a fucking explanation. You don’t get to run away like a fucking child anymore. Time to grow and _talk_.”

Gavin scowls, but lowers the gun, tossing it to the side. “Get out, Ryan. There’s nothing to say –“

“There is! There is so much to explain. I saved your fucking life and you respond by breaking up with me? Saying I couldn’t love you? What the fuck –“

“I didn’t break up with you because you ‘saved my life’, I did it because you risked it for no reason and got hurt!”

“I risked it to protect you. And I don’t regret doing that-“

“You should! You almost died, Ryan. You almost died because you had to play savor and you were going to leave me behind!” Gavin’s entire body shakes, voice wavering in a way Ryan’s never heard before. “If you had died, you would’ve died instead of me. And I... That can’t happen. I’ve lost enough people in my life who thought it would be better for me to live instead of them and I’m not allowing it again. Not to you.”

Ryan’s face falls, shoulders dropping, and all the fury bleeding away as he sees honest to God tears pricking on Gavin’s face. He’s never seen him cry before, never seen him look this broken. And he does. Looks truly as broken as he’s felt the past few weeks, every since he walked out. “Gavin…” he starts, reaching a hand out to him. 

Gavin looks away, wrapping his arms around himself. “You can’t do that, Ryan. You can’t put yourself in front of me. You can’t leave me behind.”

Ryan takes another step closer, carefully reaching out to touch his arm. Gavin glances to the contact, and he doesn’t move closer but doesn’t move away. Ryan moves steps forward, heart just twisting to see him like this. He wraps a careful arm around the other, bring them chest to chest. “I’m ok,” he whispers. “I didn’t die and I’m still here. I don’t want you leaving me behind now.”

“It’s easier…” Gavin murmurs, body stiff, but ever, ever so slightly leaning into his hold.

“Maybe,” Ryan hums, reaching up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing away the first tears that were falling from his eyes. “Maybe it seems easier to block out people you care about so you don’t get hurt, but I don’t know about you, but it still fucking hurt. I hardly think this was the easier option to do.”

Gavin lets out a long breath, just deflating in Ryan’s arms. “No,” he admits, falling against Ryan, head burying into his neck. “It isn’t.”

Ryan holds him tight, clinging to him as he thought he wasn’t going to get another chance to. He doesn’t say anything, not wanting to break the moment, not wanting to risk Gavin just pulling away again and taking it all back.

“I didn’t know what I’d do without you,” Gavin mumbles after a few moments. “I had to run. I couldn’t… It was too much. I’ve lost too many people, Ryan. My mother, my best friend… Each trying to protect me and I won’t let you leave me the same way. No one can die just to leave me alone. So I thought, I’d leave you now, so you couldn’t. But then I missed you. I missed you _so much_. But I figured you were mad. Then I figured you didn’t want me back now. And I couldn’t-“ he swallows, voice wavering and Ryan could feel the coldness of tears falling onto his shirt. “I couldn’t face it if it was true.”

“I was mad,” Ryan admits, rubbing a soft circle against his back. “I was furious at you. But I missed you too. It really hurt, more than I can say, but I still didn’t want to lose you just yet. I couldn’t stop myself from just wanting to hold you like this again.” 

Gavin looks up, finally looking him properly in the eyes and it breaks Ryan’s heart all over again to see him so small, so vulnerable. “Does this mean… Are we...?" 

Ryan gives a small smile and answers with a warm hand cupping his cheek and pulling him in for a kiss. It’s soft, gentle, hesitant as they finally connect. Ryan leans in closer, like it’s a sacred thing he’d never thought he’d have, savoring it with closed eyes and a stilling heart. It feels like coming home after a lifetime away, like a fire thawing out the cold of winter. Ryan doesn’t know how long they kiss, a few seconds or a few years, but when they’re pulling away with panted breaths, he smiles to Gavin and the other smiles back.

“We still have a lot to talk about,” Ryan says softly. “And we will, neither of us are getting out of the conversation this time. But I want to try again. I want to be with you again.”

Gavin nods, leaning into Ryan’s hand brushing across his cheek. “Ok,” he hums. “I promise, I’ll talk with you. I want to be with you still. Ryan, I… I love you.”

Ryan’s smile grows, chest flooding with warmth to hear him say it again, look into his gorgeous, bright eyes and know it was true. “I love you too.”

They seal it with another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi on my[ tumblr](http://shadeofazmeinya.tumblr.com/)!

**Author's Note:**

> Say hi on my[ tumblr](http://shadeofazmeinya.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
